My triplets are dinosaurs!

Now I know this seems like a crazy concept as dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago and technically I haven’t had their DNA tested but once you hear my case you’ll probably agree.

So firstly let me clear up that my little guys don’t have scales or long tails or constantly shout “not the mama”!

The reason I think the triplets have dino DNA is their uncanny similarity to Velociraptors, yes I mean the really clever/ nasty/ nightmare inducing dinosaurs we see in the film Jurassic park.

Wow, I hear you say this guy is crazy, why on earth would he call his triplets dinosaurs?

Well let me put my case forward and you decide

1. They work as a team against you

Our child-proofing strategy is two pronged: keep the kids away from things that are dangerous (fire place, cutlery, older brother’s toys), and out of stuff that they’re not supposed to be getting into (cutlery draws, cleaning cupboard etc.). And while we love seeing the triplets play nicely together — rather than fighting (yes even at one it sometimes looks like baby fight club in their play pen) — it’s often at the expense of one of these safeguards.

More often than not they’ll be working together to open the kitchen drawers and pull out as many things as possible before we catch on. Other times, it seems far more calculated: one of the three will use a distraction tactic, crying, doing something really cute etc., while the other breaches the gate or child lock. It’s a bit like that scene in Jurassic park where one raptor distracts the would-be hunter, and the other attacks from one side.

2. They Systematically Probe for Weaknesses

Even the best child-proofing and parent surveillance has its weak points. Gates can be climbed over or knocked loose. Cabinets or drawers might be left open (and unattended) for just a second. Unless you live in a one-room apartment, there are going to be blind spots. The triplets are quick to identify these and use them for their schemes.

3. They’re Messy Eaters

One area of our house that usually takes the most abuse is the kitchen.

Do you remember the scene in Jurassic Park where the raptors are fed while still in their enclosure? They lower a fully grown cow on some kind of a crane into dense vegetation. Screams, snarls, and chaos follow. Then the crane’s lifted, the cow is gone, and the harness is in tatters. That’s kind of what it’s like when the triplets are done with dinner.

4. No Matter Where You Hide, They Find You

Thanks to the ninja like skills the little angles are developing, it’s hard to keep them out of anywhere. Even the bathroom while you’re in it. You think that they’re completely engaged with something on the other side of the house or engrossed in Baby TV, so you sneak upstairs to get dressed or find a belt or something. You hear a noise behind you. It’s like that moment when the velociraptors figure out the door handles.

5. They’re Unnaturally Strong and Fast

The scene below in Jurassic Park is one of the most frightening, because you see for the first time how fast the raptors are, how high they can jump. The special effects are good, and the effect chilling. These raptors are only five or six feet tall, but they scared me more than the T-rex ever did.

I’m reminded of this whenever one of the triplets doesn’t want to get into the high chair, or refuses to give up a piece of half eaten biscuit they scavenged from the kitchen floor. They are strong. It’s just not natural!

6. When It’s Too Quiet, Be Afraid!

Three 1 year olds are loud. They laugh, shout, cry, whine, and make all kinds of noise at all times. You’d expect the same for a dinosaur-filled jungle. So when it’s quiet (like when the power went out on Jurassic Park), it’s probably time to be very frightened.

The same holds true in our house. If one or more of the triplets are out of sight, and quiet, 90% of the time it means they’re getting into something that they shouldn't.

Silence is bad, be aware, very aware!

7. They Steal the Show

In Jurassic Park, the T-rex was the apex predator. The big star. Yet the dinosaur that really haunted moviegoers’ dreams for weeks afterward was something much smaller. Cleverer. More agile. The velociraptor stole the show, and that’s what the triplets do as well. They’re show-offs with little to no regard for their own safety. They get into trouble almost for the fun of it. And that is why triplets are like velociraptors.